Welcome to my front porch…
…I sit out here as often as I can to write. I love the early morning hours with my cup of coffee, the twitter of the birds and the whisper of the leaves as they dance upon the breeze. It’s a musical melody like none other; new and fresh with each dawn.
I even enjoy the evening hours and watching the day as it comes to a close. Sadly, the mosquitoes enjoy nibbling on my skin as their evening treat. I wonder if my blood tastes like sweet caramel coffee? Perhaps, that’s why they like me so much.
The front porch was my one requirement when we had our home built and I treasure every moment I get to spend on it, minus the bugs. Yet, they are the sacrifice I’m willing to make for the beauty that surrounds me here in the Virginia woods.
Just this morning a doe walked in between my home and my neighbors, crossed the road and jumped into a patchy wooded area. I love watching them. They usually walk up to the back of our property as it meets up to a National Battlefield full of trees, where for the most part I believe they are safe. I think I’ll put a salt lick out there for them, maybe they’ll visit me more often then.
Sometimes there is a woodpecker in the tree before the front porch that comes to visit me, I think I’m going to have to name him as he’s a regular. More often than not there is a squirrel or two playing across the electrical lines and there is a beautiful blue and white bird that comes to visit me from time to time.
There’s a lake nearby, but I do not have a lake view. Once in awhile however, I can see that sun glinting off the water through the trees behind my neighbors brown home. If I were closer or had a lake view, I would also be blessed with watching the swans and geese play. We’ve about 6 swans out here. Rumor is Swans are not very friendly…they sure are beautiful to watch though.
A friend of mine, Rachel, lives not too far away yet, near a different lake. It also has swans. She has named them. If I remember correctly, her favorite is called Brutus. I am going to have to learn more of his story as this intrigues me.
Perhaps you think I’m just rambling this morning and perhaps I am, who knows. Truth is, I haven’t posted in over a week and I thought I share with you the joy my front porch brings me, as I’ve also missed it this past week.
I’d been writing away on my current WIP (work in progress) and I’d been trying to hit that magical 3K word count. It took me an entire weekend to reach it. This drove me crazy as I can easily sit down and write 1-3K letters! My friends and family have always teased me about writing them small books vs letters.
Why was this so difficult for me? As I continued to write I found myself thinking, “this is atrocious” or “I should just start over” and “it sounded so good in my head, what happened!” I reached out to my best friend and a few fellow writers – all encouraged me to press forward. So I did, word by slow little word.
On Sunday, June 25th, I stayed up late continuing my battle and I began to feel a little under the weather. On Monday morning I knew I didn’t feel well. My sinuses had begun draining down my throat causing it to hurt. Yet, I pushed forward. I enjoyed some time on my front porch Tuesday – it was a beautiful day and then at 3:20 p.m. and 4, 235 words, I checked out.
I had finally made it to the scene I’d been dying to write from the moment the idea entered my mind. From this point I expected it to feel as if someone had just turned on the water faucet. Instead, it felt like the drain had been clogged. I was tired, my throat hurt, my head pounded and all I wanted to do was sleep. I continued to think about my WIP, continued to have ideas for it and wrote them in the notes of my phone, but I did not open the document.
I found myself opening a new book…and as I read I began to wonder if I was hiding out from my own work. No, I didn’t feel good. I still don’t, but I was reading – so obviously I could write something, right? I continued to examine this holding area I found myself in, wondering if it were my own doing. How come the words were not flowing freely…
I know the story. I know where it’s going and how to get it there. So what happened? What was holding me back? I think I’ve finally come up with the answer. A thousand words before I checked out I wrote this line:
Grandma had said, “take God with you”
It is not the first mention of God in my WIP, but it is significant. You see, I believe that when we are doing something that brings us closer to God, Satan gets very jealous. If he wears panties they’re probably very twisted about now. Satan doesn’t want us in a relationship with the Lord and so when we draw closer to God, Satan clogs the drain.
………………………………………………………………………………………………….AKA a sinus infection.
I also realized it wasn’t just Satan clogging the drain. It was me. Normally, when I sit down to write, be it a letter, story, poem or article; there is something weighing heavily on my heart and it needs released. I need to examine it, pick it apart and put my feelings out there in front of me in a way that makes sense. Or I feel the overwhelming desire to reach out to someone and try with everything I’ve got in me to get them to see what I’m laying before them in order to somehow help them. I let my heart bleed and it is excruciatingly beautiful.
What I mean by that is that while it is painful to open myself up and allow the raw emotions of past experiences to breathe – the end result is generally pretty, like that of a diamond being refined by the fire.
When I wrote the line:
Grandma had said, “take God with you”
I didn’t realize it at first but my heart had begun to leak out onto the page. By word 4,235 – I knew my intuition was beginning to take over. I could feel it. This time it scared me, because this time I won’t be the only one or second one reading it. It will be public.
I got sick. I escaped into a few good books by Danni Roan (The Cattleman’s Daughters) and to my surprise God continued to be there prodding and pushing me back to my own work. I jotted down little notes, I took naps and I read books. I lost my voice and energy, but continued to take little baby steps that would pave the way forward. I am still recovering, my voice is rough, quiet and my head a bit foggy. I will most likely take a nap again today and read a little more, but I am ready to type again.
I will allow intuition to flow through my fingertips and rest in the assurance of my heavenly Father for without him the story would never see the light of day. As I continue my journey forward I pray for better health and unclogged drains. I also ask that if you are of a praying mind to remember me and the story I’m writing. Perhaps along the wings of your prayers The Scent of Coffee and I will get a little further down the road.
I’ve a very special release date in mind and I’d love nothing more than to make it happen. Thank you for visiting with me on my front porch today. I hope you have a happy and blessed Independence Day.